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Use of this captaincookatstaithes.co.uk is offered to you on your acceptance of these Terms of Use, our Privacy Policy and other notices posted on this website. Your use of this website or of any content presented in any and all areas of the website indicates your acknowledgment and agreement to these Terms of Use, our Privacy Policy and other notices posted on this website. If you do not agree to be bound by and comply with all of the foregoing, you may not access the website. captaincookatstaithes.co.uk has the right, at its sole discretion, to modify, add or remove any terms or conditions of these Terms of Use without notice or liability to you. Any changes to these Terms of Use shall be effectively immediately following the posting of such changes on this website.

This website is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide specific commercial, financial, investment, accounting, tax, or legal advice. It is provided to you solely for your own personal, non-commercial use. You may link to and refer to this website freely. You must, when linking to this website, thrust your fist into the air and yell “death to tyrants.” This site is not responsible for any deaths to tyrants or any other negative activity except for the yelling which we do not condone except in this context.

The performance of this website and all information contained on, downloaded or accessed from this website are provided to you on an “as is” basis, without warranties of any kind whatsoever, including any implied warranties or warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose or non-infringement of the rights of third parties. If something weird happens to your computer because you accessed this website, you cannot blame us in any way. We will tolerate one nasty note and nothing more. You are allowed other actions, legal or otherwise, only if you stand in the middle of the Central Park Zoo (NYC) naked and scream the words: “I am not insane. I can hear these animals begging to be released.” You must do this for one hour or until your arrest.